Starting IVF is a journey filled with hope, uncertainty, and a rollercoaster of emotions. If you’re here, chances are you’re gearing up for the process, wondering how to navigate the emotional ups and downs that come with it. And trust me—you’re not alone.
While there’s plenty of information out there about the medical side of IVF, the emotional side often gets overlooked. The waiting, the what-ifs, the excitement, and the anxiety can feel overwhelming at times. But here’s the good news: you can prepare yourself emotionally, just like you would physically.
In this post, we’ll talk about real, practical ways to protect your mental health, manage stress, and find support as you go through IVF. Whether it’s your first cycle or you’ve been on this journey for a while, these tips will help you feel more grounded, hopeful, and ready for what’s ahead. 💛
First and foremost, congratulations on your decision if you’ve already made it this far. Perhaps one of the most challenging and emotional decisions to make – if you ask me. When we were trying to decide whether or not (and when) to move forward with IVF, I really struggled because it felt like we were admitting my body had failed. I won’t dive into it too deeply here because I don’t want to push my feelings on anyone else, but I do want to say, if you’re feeling that too – I see you. Your feelings are valid, but IVF is really just a strategy, and I felt it helped to focus on the end result. My beautiful baby. Once she was here, it was much easier to look back at IVF in a more positive way. [I won’t say I didn’t deal with the same feelings when moving into IVF again for baby #2 though, unfortunately].
Ok, let’s move on with our preparation!
Protecting Your Mental Health During IVF
✔️ Set Emotional Boundaries
- Decide in advance who you’re comfortable sharing your IVF journey with. This may change depending on your mood, and that’s okay. There were times I wanted to keep it a secret, and times I wanted to shout it from the rooftops! Choose people you know will give you the support you’re looking for.
- Politely shut down unsolicited advice or invasive questions. This can be hard to do, but it’s really best for your mental health, and you have to remember that IVF is a complicated process that not many people understand unless they’ve been through it themselves.
- Avoid social media triggers (like pregnancy announcements) if they affect your mood. These have definitely been a trigger for me both in the past and currently, and it’s much easier to avoid them.
✔️ Limit Over-Googling & Information Overload
- It’s natural to want to research everything, but too much information can create unnecessary stress and unrealistic expectations.
- Stick to reliable sources and your doctor’s advice!
- If you’re part of an IVF support group, take breaks if you start feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes other people’s stories can actually be more depressing or affect our mood more as we compare. I used to heavily rely on the stories of others, but then learned it was too overwhelming as time went on. Do what works for you!
✔️ Reframe Negative Thoughts
- IVF can feel like an emotional rollercoaster—try shifting your mindset from “What if this doesn’t work?” to “What can I do to support myself today?” I find it helpful to make a list of self-care ideas before you’re “in” it, so you can pull from that list. When I’m already in a negative headspace, I find it harder to think of positive ideas.
- Keep a positivity journal—write one thing you’re grateful for each day, even on hard days.
- Daily Affirmations specific to IVF – I like to write these down and practice saying them at least once per day. On a negative day, I’ll say several. [I’m currently working on creating an affirmation journal that covers each stage of the journey!]
✔️ Give Yourself Permission to Feel
- IVF is physically and emotionally draining, and it’s okay to acknowledge that.
- Don’t suppress your emotions—whether it’s sadness, frustration, or hope, let yourself process everything without guilt.
Managing Stress During IVF
✔️ Try Relaxation Techniques
- Deep breathing exercises or guided fertility meditations can help reduce anxiety.
- Gentle movement like prenatal yoga or walking can help release tension. There are even special yoga moves for fertility you can find.
- Acupuncture or massage therapy (if approved by your doctor) can provide both physical and emotional relief. I highly recommend acupuncture and do it with every transfer cycle!
✔️ Create an IVF-Free Zone in Your Life
- IVF can become all-consuming—set aside time each day to focus on something non-fertility related.
- Read a book, go out with friends, or start a new hobby.
✔️ Stick to a Sleep Routine
- Stress and hormone treatments can disrupt sleep, making you feel even more drained.
- Try unplugging from screens, doing a short bedtime meditation, or drinking caffeine-free tea to unwind.
✔️ Eat Nourishing Foods That Support Hormonal Balance
- Focus on whole foods, healthy fats, and lean proteins to support your body through treatment.
- Stay hydrated—IVF medications can cause bloating, and drinking enough water helps with side effects.
✔️ Schedule Mini Self-Care Moments
- Whether it’s a warm bath, a fun TV show, or a quick solo coffee run, little moments of self-care add up.
- Treat yourself like you would a best friend going through something difficult.
Finding Support During IVF
✔️ Talk to People Who “Get It”
- Consider joining an IVF or infertility support group (online or in person).
- If you’re struggling, therapy with a fertility counselor can help you process emotions.
✔️ Lean on Your Partner (and Let Them Lean on You Too!)
- Keep communication open about feelings, fears, and expectations.
- Plan intentional date nights where you don’t talk about IVF.
✔️ Find a Fertility Mentor or Buddy
- Connecting with someone who has been through IVF and understands the ups and downs can provide comfort and perspective.
✔️ Keep a List of Go-To Encouragements
- Save uplifting quotes, affirmations, or songs that bring you peace.
- Make a Pinterest board or notes app folder of things that inspire and comfort you.
Remember, IVF is more than just a medical process—it’s an emotional, mental, and physical journey that requires strength, patience, and resilience. No matter where you are in the process, remember that your feelings are valid, your struggles are real, and you are not alone.
As you navigate the ups and downs, take things one step at a time. Protect your mental health, lean on your support system, and give yourself permission to rest when you need to. Most importantly, be kind to yourself—this journey is hard, but you are stronger than you think.
No matter the outcome, you are doing everything in your power to build the family you dream of, and that alone is something to be proud of. 💛 You’ve got this.
If you’ve been through IVF, what emotional strategies helped you the most? I’d love to hear your experiences in the comments!
You may find these other blog posts helpful: Surviving the Two Week Wait, Surviving PIO (Progesterone in Oil) Shots, IVF Must-Haves from Amazon
